"shy that way"

Last month, Dave and I were talking about how difficult it is to meet people. I mentioned that it's frustrating for me, how easily I meet guys in clubs and how challenging it can be to meet guys in more "normal" places like the grocery store, coffee shop or gym...and blamed those difficulties on the fact that I'm shy. Which surprised Dave, who responded with "I'm a bit surprised to hear you say that you're shy. You never seemed to be that way. In fact, I always thought you were somewhat outgoing. Perhaps you hide the shyness well."

Coming from him, that means a lot...because I do work very hard, day in and day out, to not let my shyness show. But regardless of how well I hide it, the fact remains that I am a shy person. Why then, I wondered, is it so comfortable (and easy) for me to meet guys on the dance floor?

Well see, when a guy walks up to me on a dance floor, there is no question that he is attracted to me...no uncertainty about his interest. On the dance floor, my shy, unconfident self doesn't have to figure out whether a guy is flirting or just being nice...whether he's looking at me or just glancing in my general direction. On the dance floor, when a guy is interested, he shows it. Sometimes more than is comfortable.

But in real life, things are not quite that simple...especially for someone who, more often than not, still feels like the awkward, dorky girl that I was throughout high school and most of college. Even now, with coaching from my guy friends, I'm still horrible at interpreting guys' interest...still ridiculously incapable of understanding when a guy's friendliness is actually intentional flirting. So combine that awkward, dorky girl's voice in my head saying, "no, there's no way he's attracted to me," with my naturally shy, incompetent manner around guys, and well...is it any wonder I have trouble meeting guys?!

Where I am: home
What I'm reading: Diary of a Wimpy Kid by Jeff Kinney