"Just remember... she is already out with you. That means, she said yes, when she could've said no. That means she made a plan... when she could've just blown you off."
(from the movie "Hitch")
"Encourage me and affirm my efforts, and I'll run through a brick wall just to please you. But don't just assume that I know you're pleased. I'm way outside my comfort zone. I'm willing to be a fool for you, but just tell me that I did good."
(For Women Only by Shaunti Feldhahn)
I have long loved both of these quotes, because they so appropriately represent one of my most important philosophies about dating - that the guy should make an effort...should be the one to make the move. Seriously. If he's interested, he won't be able to help but make some kind of move. But I also recognize that making a move can be a nerve-wracking experience for a guy - so if I am interested in a guy, I will do everything I can to open that door for him. Heck, I will open the door, roll out the welcome mat, and hang a banner over the door...whatever I can to let him know, "Hey - if you ask, I will say yes." But when it comes right down to it, he still has to ask.
So that meant that this first date with Wildcat Guy (my first first date from Match.com) took a couple of weeks to develop. From email #1, I could tell he was a really sweet guy...but it also quickly became evident that he was nervous about making the move from email to talking on the phone or meeting in person. So when he mentioned that perhaps we could go see "Shutter Island" together (so I wouldn't have to see what I'd described as a creepy movie by myself), I immediately said that I liked that idea...and from there, made a special effort to respond positively any time there was a mention of getting together or exchanging phone numbers. And it worked. We finally got to talk on the phone on Sunday, and by the end of that first conversation, we'd made plans to go see "Shutter Island."
Fast forward to tonight, when we met at the theater. First impressions - he's handsome in a rugged kind of way, tall, polite, sweet, and yes - shy and a bit reserved. Which he'd warned me about. But it was interesting (and a little endearing) to experience that in person, and to find my own balance in being shy myself and wanting to engage him in conversation. Thankfully, we found two common topics to talk at length about - movies and sports. So we had some good conversation in the small amount of time (about fifteen minutes) before the movie started, and exchanged comments here and there throughout the movie.
Now I know there are people out there who say that going to a movie on the first date is a bad idea...but in this case, I would disagree. I think that Wildcat Guy is the type of guy who will take a little while to open up and become less reserved...so dinner or something similar might have felt awkward. Instead, we had a small block of time beforehand to chat and begin feeling comfortable around each other, before enjoying a really good movie. Then, after the movie, he walked me to my truck...we made small talk about how nice it was to meet each other...I thanked him for a fun night...and he mentioned the possibility of getting together again.
To which I said a simple, "yeah - I'd like that."
But then - then - here's the icing on the cake...the part where his sweet nature really showed. The town I live in and the town he lives in (where the theater is) are about fifteen minutes apart. So about thirty minutes after we said goodbye at the theater, my phone rang - and it was him. Calling to make sure I'd gotten home safely...to say again that he liked meeting me tonight...and to let me know that I looked pretty tonight. Say it with me - awww.
I think I like this guy...and I am definitely looking forward to the second date.
Where I am: home
What I'm reading: judicial case files and Match.com profiles