"how about a strong shot of honesty?"
Over Thanksgiving weekend, I heard the song, "Consider Me Gone" by Reba McEntire...and was stunned by the chorus:
"If I'm not the one thing you can't stand to lose,
If I'm not that arrow to the heart of you,
If you don't get drunk on my kiss,
If you think you can do better than this,
Then I guess we're done.
Let's not drag this on.
Consider me gone."
Coming just a week after I broke up with Security Guy, these lines really hit home. Which I realize sounds odd, since the song is sung from the perspective of the person who's about to be broken up with. But to me, this song is about honesty in a relationship - about respecting the person you're dating enough to let them go when your heart is no longer committed to the relationship.
Yes, it means hurting them. But how much greater would the hurt be if you continued in the relationship after your feelings for that person plateaued?
That was the question I found myself struggling with in late October and early November. Did I like Security Guy? Yes. But the longer we dated...the more time we spent together...the more I began to wonder how well-suited we were for each other. Sure, we had a lot of common interests. And yet I began to believe more and more strongly that his reasons for being in our relationship were different than mine - that we were seeking different things from each other - that we were in different places in life - and after much reflection and heartfelt conversation with dear friends, I realized that I was never going to feel anything more for him than what I already did. I was never going to care for him any deeper...never going to fall in love with him...never going to see spending my life with him.
And once I knew that - once I realized that my heart had no more room for him - it was time. Time to let him go. Time to respect him enough to be truthful with him about my subsiding feelings. And even though I know he was hurt by it - even though it hurt me to do it - I also know it was the right choice to make. For both of us. He deserved that.
Where I am: home
What I'm reading: Jennifer Johnson is Sick of Being Single by Heather McElhatton
"If I'm not the one thing you can't stand to lose,
If I'm not that arrow to the heart of you,
If you don't get drunk on my kiss,
If you think you can do better than this,
Then I guess we're done.
Let's not drag this on.
Consider me gone."
Coming just a week after I broke up with Security Guy, these lines really hit home. Which I realize sounds odd, since the song is sung from the perspective of the person who's about to be broken up with. But to me, this song is about honesty in a relationship - about respecting the person you're dating enough to let them go when your heart is no longer committed to the relationship.
Yes, it means hurting them. But how much greater would the hurt be if you continued in the relationship after your feelings for that person plateaued?
That was the question I found myself struggling with in late October and early November. Did I like Security Guy? Yes. But the longer we dated...the more time we spent together...the more I began to wonder how well-suited we were for each other. Sure, we had a lot of common interests. And yet I began to believe more and more strongly that his reasons for being in our relationship were different than mine - that we were seeking different things from each other - that we were in different places in life - and after much reflection and heartfelt conversation with dear friends, I realized that I was never going to feel anything more for him than what I already did. I was never going to care for him any deeper...never going to fall in love with him...never going to see spending my life with him.
And once I knew that - once I realized that my heart had no more room for him - it was time. Time to let him go. Time to respect him enough to be truthful with him about my subsiding feelings. And even though I know he was hurt by it - even though it hurt me to do it - I also know it was the right choice to make. For both of us. He deserved that.
Where I am: home
What I'm reading: Jennifer Johnson is Sick of Being Single by Heather McElhatton
Comments