life in a fishbowl
Because Cute Guy works on campus as well, we have a fair amount of mutual friends and colleagues...very curious friends and colleagues. It's not that I mind their curiosity, because I do understand where it comes from. Our campus is small enough that there's a deep sense of community - of family. And in that true family way, everyone looks out for everyone else. They see things going on, notice changes or developments, and oh - tend to ask plenty of questions. Which I'd normally be fine with. In some ways, I love being part of a community that so obviously looks out for and wants the best for the people within.
However...in some ways, that curiosity feels overwhelming. Especially when it feels so focused on what's happening between me and Cute Guy. More and more people have been asking me about us spending time together...have been asking me what's going on between the two of us...and it's difficult. Because I'm trying very hard to not rush anything...to not feel like there's any hurry in whatever is happening between the two of us....to not let others' opinions and input unduly influence how I feel about him.
That's why, this past Sunday, when he and I made plans to meet at a campus Christmas concert, I was a bit nervous. This event is pretty big...both in popularity and significance...and I knew that many of the people who have been hovering around us would be there...seeing us together. And as much as I was looking forward to spending the time with him, a small part of me was nervous about the possibility of the fuss that might create.
So you can imagine how thrilled I was when a colleague stopped by my office on Wednesday morning and shared with me that, during a conversation he'd had about that same Christmas concert with the head of our division, she had asked in her very direct way if Cute Guy and I were dating. Sigh. I know I shouldn't let it bother me as much as it does...know it's inevitable that people will continue to ask about this as he and I spend more time together...know that they just have our best interests at heart. But wow. Hearing that one of our upper-level administrators had joined in the conversation, it really struck home just how much of a fishbowl he and I are in.
Where I am: home
What I'm reading: Your Heart Belongs to Me by Dean Koontz
However...in some ways, that curiosity feels overwhelming. Especially when it feels so focused on what's happening between me and Cute Guy. More and more people have been asking me about us spending time together...have been asking me what's going on between the two of us...and it's difficult. Because I'm trying very hard to not rush anything...to not feel like there's any hurry in whatever is happening between the two of us....to not let others' opinions and input unduly influence how I feel about him.
That's why, this past Sunday, when he and I made plans to meet at a campus Christmas concert, I was a bit nervous. This event is pretty big...both in popularity and significance...and I knew that many of the people who have been hovering around us would be there...seeing us together. And as much as I was looking forward to spending the time with him, a small part of me was nervous about the possibility of the fuss that might create.
So you can imagine how thrilled I was when a colleague stopped by my office on Wednesday morning and shared with me that, during a conversation he'd had about that same Christmas concert with the head of our division, she had asked in her very direct way if Cute Guy and I were dating. Sigh. I know I shouldn't let it bother me as much as it does...know it's inevitable that people will continue to ask about this as he and I spend more time together...know that they just have our best interests at heart. But wow. Hearing that one of our upper-level administrators had joined in the conversation, it really struck home just how much of a fishbowl he and I are in.
Where I am: home
What I'm reading: Your Heart Belongs to Me by Dean Koontz
Comments