the joy of answered prayers
Friday, I was definitely facing a crisis of confidence. I couldn't help it. I'd just spent the day with a group of people who completely amazed and inspired me with their experiences in student affairs, their enthusiasm for the work they do, and their commitment to making a positive difference in their students' lives...a group of people who were now evaluating me and deciding whether I was someone they wanted as a colleague...deciding whether I would have what it took to be successful there. And all I could do was hope that, in making a decision that was best for their community, they would choose me...no matter how unconfident and lacking I was making myself feel. (Because truly, this fear and uncertainty was entirely self-created...the feedback and dialogue during my interviews were extremely positive and supportive.) Needless to say, my prayers that night were particularly emotional, as I struggled to regain my stability.
Then, over the weekend, my daily devotions were centered around the concept of comparison, and the dangers inherent in comparing one's self to others. I particularly liked this verse:
Be sure to do what you should, for then you will enjoy the personal satisfaction of having done your work well, and you won't need to compare yourself to anyone else. (Galations 6:4)
Of course. This was a great little reminder that what's most important is being who I am and doing what I am capable of doing...that success should be personal, not comparative. But as if that wasn't enough, there was a sermon in church on Sunday centered around the story of Jesus feeding the crowd with five loaves of bread and two fish. In the story, Jesus takes those limited resources and multiplies them to such degree that He not only meets, but exceeds the needs of the people. The lesson was that - even when we don't feel like we have enough...even when we feel lacking - God will fill in the gaps. All He asks is that we be willing to put forth what we have.
I seriously almost fell out of my seat. It felt like God saying to me,
"Look - I know you don't feel like you have what it takes to be successful at this particular college...that you feel like you'd be the weak link in a chain of amazingly strong links there. But listen - your potential is just as important as your abilities and accomplishments. All you have to do is believe in yourself and put forth the best effort you can."
Combined with the daily messages in my devotion book, this was exactly what my heart needed to hear. By the end of the weekend, I felt calm again...I knew that no matter what happened, I could and would be confident in myself once more. If this college decided I wasn't the right match, that would be okay...because not being the right match would simply mean that they didn't have a need for my particular range of strengths and abilities at this time.
But here's the most beautiful part of the whole thing...after experiencing this inner realization and feeling overwhelmingly grateful for the soothing message, it turns out that this college does have a need for someone with my particular range of strengths and abilities...that they would like me - me! - to join their community of amazing people.
There are not enough words to express the pure bliss in my heart today.
Where I am: Lebanon, KY
What I'm reading: Twilight by Stephenie Meyer
Then, over the weekend, my daily devotions were centered around the concept of comparison, and the dangers inherent in comparing one's self to others. I particularly liked this verse:
Be sure to do what you should, for then you will enjoy the personal satisfaction of having done your work well, and you won't need to compare yourself to anyone else. (Galations 6:4)
Of course. This was a great little reminder that what's most important is being who I am and doing what I am capable of doing...that success should be personal, not comparative. But as if that wasn't enough, there was a sermon in church on Sunday centered around the story of Jesus feeding the crowd with five loaves of bread and two fish. In the story, Jesus takes those limited resources and multiplies them to such degree that He not only meets, but exceeds the needs of the people. The lesson was that - even when we don't feel like we have enough...even when we feel lacking - God will fill in the gaps. All He asks is that we be willing to put forth what we have.
I seriously almost fell out of my seat. It felt like God saying to me,
"Look - I know you don't feel like you have what it takes to be successful at this particular college...that you feel like you'd be the weak link in a chain of amazingly strong links there. But listen - your potential is just as important as your abilities and accomplishments. All you have to do is believe in yourself and put forth the best effort you can."
Combined with the daily messages in my devotion book, this was exactly what my heart needed to hear. By the end of the weekend, I felt calm again...I knew that no matter what happened, I could and would be confident in myself once more. If this college decided I wasn't the right match, that would be okay...because not being the right match would simply mean that they didn't have a need for my particular range of strengths and abilities at this time.
But here's the most beautiful part of the whole thing...after experiencing this inner realization and feeling overwhelmingly grateful for the soothing message, it turns out that this college does have a need for someone with my particular range of strengths and abilities...that they would like me - me! - to join their community of amazing people.
There are not enough words to express the pure bliss in my heart today.
Where I am: Lebanon, KY
What I'm reading: Twilight by Stephenie Meyer
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