has it really only been three years?

“You get through it. You just never get over it.”

Has it really been only three years? A friend and I were laughing last week about how surprised people are to find out I’m divorced, and as our conversation continued, we were astonished to realize it’s only been three years since all that happened. It feels like so much longer ago, perhaps because of the many ways in which life has changed since then. I’ve grown so much stronger emotionally, and experienced opportunities I never would have while I was married. But because I’ve become so comfortable with it…because it’s sunk in enough that it feels like a natural part of who I am…I forget that the idea of me being divorced can throw people for a loop.

“You are? You don’t seem divorced.”

“What does divorced seem like?”

“I’m not sure – I guess it’s one of those things
where you know it when you see it.”

I don’t know if it’s because I’m relatively young, or because I seem so well-adjusted, or what the reason may be…but it amuses me to see how people react when they learn that I've been married before. Most recently, after listening to our conversation about the eligibility of groomsmen in my friend’s wedding, her father actually asked why a good-looking, nice girl like me wasn’t married yet. So I laughed and said, “well, I was.” To his credit, he did just a small double-take before saying, “well, you’re still young enough to find someone.”

The best part is that he's right. When it happened, I never would have imagined that I could ever feel this whole, this healed (as evidenced by some of the quite emotional posts from that time!). But I’ve gotten through it, wiser and stronger, leaving the past three years full of goodness. So the idea of not seeming “divorced” (whatever that might be) pleases me…even as it surprises the people I meet these days.

Where I am: Lebanon, KY
What I’m reading: To Have and to Hold, and The Lady & the Panda

(The first quote is from Plain Truth by Jodi Picoult. The second conversation is from Songs without Words by Ann Packer, which inspired this line of thinking when I read it earlier this week.)