first date #1: pleasant and platonic

It's been long enough since my last first date that I'd forgotten something
about how I date - that if I don't feel an attraction right away, I won't.
Ever. I'm not talking about love at first sight...more like that fun surge
of adrenaline when you click with your date, that spark of attraction that
makes you glad you accepted the date. In other words, I'm not a girl who
dates guys that she's been "friends" with first. Which makes my date
Thursday evening a little disappointing.

It started nicely enough. We met at a restaurant in town, one that was a
midpoint for us, since he lives west of town and I live northeast. He
arrives a few minutes after I do, and of course there's that awkward "nice
to meet you" moment as we each form our first impressions. My thoughts -
he's attractive in that regular-guy kind of way, and not as tall as I'd
expected...but polite and friendly, and he opens the door for me as we walk
from the lobby into the restaurant. Which impresses me, because I'm used to
the Southern-boy manners I was spoiled by in college and after.

We get a table, order dinner and talk. And talk. And talk. If there's one
thing I really enjoyed about the evening, it was the conversation. There
was a nice balance to it, and it flowed well for the first couple of hours
(although the last hour or so was much slower and also a little odd). But
about midway through the evening, I realize that I'm not attracted to him.
At all. I almost feel guilty at this point, because here I am having dinner
with a really nice guy, yet I know in my heart that this is going nowhere
beyond casual friendship. Eek.

So we eventually wind up the evening, and say a simple goodbye - he walks me
to my truck (which will impress Baxter)...we hug...we do the "I had a lovely
evening" and "I'll talk to you soon." Then I get in my truck and drive
away. And all I can think of on the way home is what I'm going to say if
there's an invitation for a second date. Because I feel like there will be.
But I'm not feeling it. So if anyone has any suggestions for turning down
a second date, please share. I could use all the help I can get.

Where I am: Home
What I'm reading: The Motorcycle Diaries by Ernesto "Che" Guevara and The
Snow Leopard
by Peter Matthiessen


Baxter said…
And I am impressed :-) My advice--just tell him the truth. It's easier on you because you don't have to formulate an elaborate excuse or think too hard about it, and it gives him a reason. Believe me, being honest is much better on your mental health!
The Rube said…
I agree with Baxter. Don't know how you met the guy but if you have his email address I think a simple "I had a good time but I don't think it's going to work for me" kind of note would suffice. I can't say I'm a huge fan of using email for that but it gets the work down without all that awkward face-to-face conversation. Then you him if he has any single friends.

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