Late night thoughts
Lately I've been pondering the idea of honesty, and just how honest people should be with one another. Lest anyone misunderstand, please know that I'm not (in any way!) saying that lying is good...I hate lying, and I hate people lying to me. What I'm talking about is more along the lines of how in-depth one's honesty should be. When you're having a conversation with someone, particularly about something that might have some importance to either or both of you, how are you supposed to know what would be considered too much information? Is there such a thing as too much honesty between friends?
Because that's something I've always kinda struggled with...the fear of being too open with people. In the past, I've either let that fear get the better of me and not said anything, or blown caution to the wind and said entirely too much about how I really feel. Neither one has worked very well. Yet there's something I've read more times than I can count in one of my favorite books, that talks about the fact that each person in our lives has been put there at a specific time for a specific reason...and that if we close ourselves off to those people, we miss the messages they were bringing into our lives. But I can tell you from experience that it's so darn hard to find that balance between being open with how you're feeling, and being that person who is just waaaaay too honest. Because what if the things you think you should say, aren't appropriate? What if the things you want to say could damage the relationship, even though you'd just be saying how you truly felt? On the flip side, what if the other person is just as afraid of being completely honest as you are? What if your brave honesty empowers them to be honest, too? Can you imagine the power in that kind of honest discussion? Wouldn't that create conversations and interactions that were just so much more real?
There's not even a one-size-fits-all answer, I know. I just can't help but wonder what makes us so afraid to be honest with one another. What is it that makes us so fearful of sharing what we really think when someone asks for our opinion? What is it that makes us so offended when someone is honest? And not honest in a mean way, but just honest in a respectful, upfront manner. Shouldn't we value the benefits that that kind of honesty has to offer? Wouldn't we all be better off, and our lives so much richer?
Where I am: Kentucky
What I'm reading: When the Wind Blows by James Patterson
Because that's something I've always kinda struggled with...the fear of being too open with people. In the past, I've either let that fear get the better of me and not said anything, or blown caution to the wind and said entirely too much about how I really feel. Neither one has worked very well. Yet there's something I've read more times than I can count in one of my favorite books, that talks about the fact that each person in our lives has been put there at a specific time for a specific reason...and that if we close ourselves off to those people, we miss the messages they were bringing into our lives. But I can tell you from experience that it's so darn hard to find that balance between being open with how you're feeling, and being that person who is just waaaaay too honest. Because what if the things you think you should say, aren't appropriate? What if the things you want to say could damage the relationship, even though you'd just be saying how you truly felt? On the flip side, what if the other person is just as afraid of being completely honest as you are? What if your brave honesty empowers them to be honest, too? Can you imagine the power in that kind of honest discussion? Wouldn't that create conversations and interactions that were just so much more real?
There's not even a one-size-fits-all answer, I know. I just can't help but wonder what makes us so afraid to be honest with one another. What is it that makes us so fearful of sharing what we really think when someone asks for our opinion? What is it that makes us so offended when someone is honest? And not honest in a mean way, but just honest in a respectful, upfront manner. Shouldn't we value the benefits that that kind of honesty has to offer? Wouldn't we all be better off, and our lives so much richer?
Where I am: Kentucky
What I'm reading: When the Wind Blows by James Patterson
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