Why "kitty" isn't good enough

When I was in the fourth grade, Mom and Dad bought me a kitten for Easter to replace the one we had put to sleep a few months earlier. Because of its tabby markings mixed with a white belly and feet, we named him Dr. Denton (Dr. D, for short), since those markings made him look like he was pulling on a pair of footed Dr. Denton PJ's. Over the past sixteen years since that cat-naming, we have gotten ever more creative, to the point where naming a cat "kitty" or something equally simple is incomprehensible, even if the poor animal goes weeks without a name.

We've had a Mr. Snuffleupagus (Gus for short, who had the sniffles and snuffles when we got him), a Shiro Shinju (Japanese for "white pearl"), a Carey (which seems plain, but is actually Spanish for "tortoiseshell"), and a Wilbur (who eats like a pig, Wilbur being the pig in Charlotte's Web); that doesn't include the black Chow whose registered name is Chiisai Kuroikuma, which is Japanese for "little black bear". (And no, we don't use that whole mouthful when we call him..."Kuma" suffices.)

Does the staff at the veterinarian's office think we're a few cards short of a deck? At first they did...now I think they look forward to hearing what outlandish name we have bestowed on our innocent victims. At the same time, I also think they've been relieved with our last two choices; Carey and Wilbur are much easier on the Kentucky tongues than Shiro and Kuma.

Unfortunately, Mom recently adopted a new kitten. It's an adorable little girl, who is all black with green eyes; but three weeks later, she is still nameless! So far, Midori (Japanese for "green") and Chewy (because, at five to six weeks old, she's small enough to be a chew toy for the dog) have been mentioned and set aside. Worse, when I talked to Mom tonight, she mentioned that they may just call her "Kitty". WHAT!? Pardon me, but that's unacceptable. However long it may take, this cat will be named well...we've not worked hard for the last sixteen years to let our tradition crumble now. "Kitty" just isn't good enough!

The Nameless Kitten


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